It is my hope that we finally truly realize(Self-Realization or Enlightenment) that what is referred to in the field of Psychology as the Idealized Image is the false self. The Idealized Image of you or of the group you identify with has to be known about, focused on, and cleared away in order for us to realize our shared True Self or what is called by Christianity the Christ within us or the Image and Likeness of God. Hinduism refers to the shared True Self as Atman or the Universal Self. The genie needs to be let out of the lamp. This is the part of the ego that holds conditioning, falsehoods, and lies we tell. Psychology means the study of the soul (psyche). Two books helped me clear away my Idealized Image or false self and made me be real (Self-Realization) and see and know “what is.” Seeing and knowing “what is” possesses the psychological ability to detect the Idealized Image of persons or groups. The abilities to see and know “what is” are part of the condition of Cardionosis or reading hearts. Remember, the same Self (psyche) is in our different bodies. These two timeless and classic books are by Karen Horney, M.D. Karen Horney was a neo-Freudian psychologist known for her theory of neurotic needs, her research on feminine psychology, and her critiques of Freud’s emphasis on the concept of penis envy. The two books are The Neurotic Personality Of Our Time, 1937, and OUR INNER CONFLICTS A Constructive Theory of Neurosis, 1945,.
I was born in Wisconsin to a Roman Catholic family. My mother June was a talented writer and started her own service club. My father Joe was a Right-of-Way agent for Bell telephone. Joe was an avid golfer and overall sports enthusiast. Joe would play sports with me and I became a life-long athlete.
I was known as a rebel and was expelled from the Catholic school I attended at the age of fourteen. I was arrested at nineteen for being a thief and was placed on probation. Around this time, not being happy, I turned inward. I worked at different jobs that did not satisfy my budding inner life. I traveled down south several times reading books trying to find myself. In 1980, at the age of twenty-seven, I enrolled at a local college. I was now in an interesting environment. I was curious about almost everything and I eventually majored in speech and psychology or speaking and thinking.
Many people told me that I was funny. I was able to make them laugh about unusual subjects. In the summers of 1981 and 1982, while still a college student, I traveled to Minneapolis and pursued the art of stand-up comedy. During these summers I would write comedy, run twenty-five miles a week and perform comedy at night. I was also a juggler but did not juggle in my stand-up act. I took up Hatha yoga and studied nutrition. In Minneapolis, I interacted with the local up-and-coming comedians. Minneapolis at that time had a small close-knit comedy culture that produced a good number of comedians and some became quite famous. I was making audiences laugh shortly after I started. During this time I was also performing comedy in other cities. I planned on being a professional comedian.
Catholicism conditioned me to have a clear inner voice. I had to make people laugh and the only way I could see to do it was to be brutally honest with myself. I thought honesty would align me with common reality. The Sisters of St. Agnes, who taught me, always told me to tell the truth. So I was continually examining myself and weeding out delusional thinking. This became my way of life.
One day in 1983, I was alone at my parents house and all of a sudden I had a massive spontaneous kundalini awakening. The awakening of this spiritual energy made me realize my self. I achieved the ability, among others, to see through other peoples egos or read their hearts. I was forever changed. In 1983 there was no internet or otherwise easily accessible information for me to be able to find out what had happened to me. Because of the massive explosion of energy my nervous and digestive system had to rebuild.
Due to what happened to me, I changed my plans and soon moved in with my best friend and her son. We lived together for many years. I hid out in college going on and off for thirteen years. I read one book after another to understand what happened to me. I eventually received an M.A. in Speech/Rhetoric and also amassed many extra college credits. Currently I am an investor and forever a student.
I am repentant of the trouble I got into years ago and the embarrassment it brought to my parents. People that knew me when I was a kid remark that I sure changed my ways. I went through what I call psycho/spiritual/physical alchemy or I transformed myself by healing the past and living in the ongoing present.
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