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A koan is a paradoxical anecdote or riddle used in Zen Buddhism to demonstrate the inadequacy of logical reasoning and to provoke enlightenment.

I took a hit off the joint (entheogen) and instantly a vision of a cloud appeared before me. This was In 1983. OH MY GOD! Pictured within this cloud were the heads of what I determined later to be spiritual masters. There was an Islamic man wearing a turban, a side view of a man, probably Hindu, who resembled Rabindranath Tagore, a side view of a man, probably Hebrew, who reminded me of Yassar Arafat, a Mongolian or Tibetan male, an African male, an Oriental male, a Native American chief with a full headdress, and a Carmelite nun. I was undergoing a mystical experience of profound expansiveness. I gazed at the cloud – huh? WOW! I sprung out of my chair and the cloud disappeared. I noticed an effulgent golden flaming light radiating off my body, especially my arms. It was a color more brilliantly golden and luminous than I had ever seen before. It was a firelight. AWESOME! Vibrating out of the ether came an external locution of my Psychology of Consciousness professor Dr. Som Gay voicing the Zen koan he gave us in class Words Are Traps. I am intuitively realizing that everyone is bombarded by language and this confuses our innocence while holding us back from our natural state or true Self. Most of us do not realize this occurrence. I became open to the fact that we are all part of the exact Soul or Spirit that is just in different bodies under different conditions. Eureka everybody is like this, I am entering the universal consciousness of us all, I thought to myself. Goosebumps covered my entire body and all the hairs of my body stood on end as I realized this primal truth. I found God or Holy Spirit or Great Universal Spirit or Cosmic Spirit inside myself and everybody else at the same time. This has been called Perfect Knowledge (vijnana) in the East where a yogi sees and knows “God” in all people. I achieved superconsciousness or Samadhi and this was a transfiguring experience. Members of religions and people from all cultures have realized themselves with transfiguration experiences throughout history. Jesus is a model of this for us. Self-Realization or Enlightenment has always been the ultimate goal of all religions and traditions. I broke through the cultural conditioning or worldly conditioning that obstructs our Spirit and contributes to our suffering A reason that we suffer is that we think we are separate from each other. We feel we are in an interpersonal fog. The clarity that comes with Self-Realization lets us psychologically and emotionally see and feel each other. We truly get to know each other. The knowledge became clear to me that we all have the same model of the inner Self. You can call it what you want Words Are Traps. Our intuition is beyond words (intellect) and tells us the truth by knowing when we are centered. A vision, bathed in golden light, a locution, goosebumps, hair standing on end, this is ecstasy, this is bliss consciousness. This was spontaneous kundalini arousal – research kundalini. Kundalini is the burning bush of Moses and the light that knocked Paul off his horse. Paul saw the light. Paul and Moses and many saints around the world from all traditions became Enlightened. Most people develop slowly. This is my story. It depends on how you are involved with life. I achieved unity with Spirit. This state is called union in the study of Mystical Theology. The developmental stages that a person or spiritual aspirant can go through are explained in Mystical Theology as Purging, Illumination, and Union. The stages are really your ongoing development or what is going on with you as you advance in consciousness – remember Words Are Traps. Your ego or personality is refined and merges in union with the spark of Divinity in you and you know internal and external Oneness. You see and know the psychological reality of our interpersonal Oneness and/also know that you are One with everything. You are washed clean of your past. For understanding, see the book POWER VS. FORCE, by Dr. David R. Hawkins, 93-94. I reached a permanently higher level of peace while becoming much more settled. One undergoes a great feeling of permanent relief when one sees and knows that we all have the same Self in our different bodies. We then understand what is going on with each other. This same Self that we share is considered by many to be “God.” This same Self that is Us is covered up by our egos or personalities until we internally discover and uncover this same Self and merge with it. You realize beyond intellect, or beyond the “understanding” of logic and reason, that you are ONE with everyone and everything. This realization of Oneness guides you. You become in touch with reality. I call this Super Intuition but it is commonly referred to in spiritual circles as superconsciousness. This is really awakened consciousness. We wake up. This is the peace they talk about that “passes all understanding.” This is the peace of Jesus, Krishna, Buddha, and most of the saints of all traditions. It is the intention of our models that we achieve peace. The obstructions or blocks that have concealed our interpersonal Oneness are removed. We realize that our particular personalities are individual expressions of our internal sameness, that is, our Oneness. In this state, the common feeling for the fear of death is lost and the understanding of eternity is realized.

Compare my major vision to the major visions of Black Elk and Arjuna.

Holy Mystical Experience! After doing research, I realized that the heads that I saw were spiritual masters and I was never exposed to anything like that before but I later found similar paintings and pictures. Moreover, the heads of the spiritual masters signified to me that everyone is the same as you and me inside ourselves and we are just in different bodies under different conditions. The genders and all races are the same inside themselves. We are all ONE. The mystics of all traditions have tried to get this simple understanding across. I did more research and I found out that God or Spirit will talk to you in a language and a way that you will understand. This has happened to many people and it is found in scripture. I experienced the external locution of hearing Dr. Gay’s voice saying, “Words are Traps” and I intuitively realized the rest. I highly respected Dr. Gay and learned much from him. Through the accidental preparation before my transformation and after my transformation or my full Self-Realization, I gained much information and many insights about mankind. My base of knowledge expands or deepens and widens on a daily basis. I intend in the future to describe and explain my true life experiences and hands-on gained knowledge and perceptions that come from the experience of achieving myself which is really our Self. Information that I will be presenting in my upcoming book is especially important for parents. Children guided by parents, caregivers, and teachers who are achieving Self-Realization themselves will never be lonely. Early focus on character development that sets the foundation for understanding the primal reality of interpersonal truth grows smarter relationship-aware children. These are spirit-guided children who are nurtured by parents, teachers, and caregivers who are digesting or have fully digested the literal awareness for the reality of our awakened spirit. These children do not feel separate or alienated. Knowing, seeing, and feeling that we are essentially the same inside ourselves and One with everything is the next step in our evolution.


I had a heaven and hell time for these six years. I was in the constant Universal general state of being unsure of myself and others. This is our general state until we are anchored in the achievement of authentic Self-Realization. After you achieve the internal merger you realize (Self-Realization) that everyone, no matter who they are, exists in this “unsure state” until Union occurs. The “unsure state” is our general thoughts about being separate from each other. Our thoughts about how we seem separate from others are completely gone after Union occurs. You know everyone after the merger. Our Universal condition grows from being unsure about what is going on with everyone to the calmness that Universal Interpersonal Psychological Awareness brings us. Union, or God-Realization, is the “crown of glory” or “ideal” that Jesus was relating to us because this is us. With more people achieving authentic Union we will observe our everyday communication and activities launching into an exuberant awareness of higher love. We as the “consciousness of the earth” will be free.

From my book.

Jesus Was A model For Us As An Ideal

I realized that Jesus was a model for us as an ideal. For example, when Jesus said, “I and my father are one”, Jesus meant that he had achieved Divine Union within himself. Jesus meant that his ego had merged with the Image and Likeness of God, or Atman, or Universal Consciousness, or Holy Spirit inside himself. The life of Jesus shows us that we all have this potential. We clarify inside ourselves. Jesus showed us the maturing process. Jesus was centered in Spirit. Jesus showed you how to understand yourself. People from all major religions, traditions, and walks of life have achieved Divine Union and so can you. I thank the Roman Catholics for instructing me about the direct Universal sayings of Jesus.

From my book.

A panic attack is a deeply mystical experience.

I was home alone when I experienced my first panic attack. All of a sudden wham!. It was like an alarm went off. My soul/body was waking me up. On comes the most frightening mystical terror realization that I was going to die. It was like I was taken out of the dream into reality. I was coming out of the state of suffering Psychology calls “infantile omnipotence.” The Holy Spirit was waking me up. I immediately broke out in a dead sweat and began shaking severely from the great “clarity impact” of this mystical experience. I did not know what to do. I staggered out the kitchen door. This was the way that my soul/body contacted me. Our soul/body communicates to us in its own language. I began walking down the sidewalk dripping sweat and shaking. I did not run into anybody and if I did they would have thought that I was completely insane because of the look of terror on my face.

From my book.


WORDS ARE TRAPS – From my Universal Vision I found out that we are all soulmates. It is the same Self in our different bodies.The Image and Likeness of God that we are told we are made in is the same Self in all of us. This same Self has no specific gender. This same Self is the Holy Spirit. This is why it is said that we are part of God or we are God. This is the Universal Self in us. This is the Oversoul of Emerson. This is the SuperSelf of the Bhagavad Gita. Your ego is “the conditioned by the material world part of you.” Your ego is “over” the Holy Spirit in you so to speak. Divine Union is your ego recognizing the Holy Spirit in you and merging with the Holy Spirit in you. You recognize or sense or grasp the Holy Spirit in you within the process of divine alchemy. After this merger, which has a ground floor, you become One inside yourself with the Holy Spirit in charge. This is where you are naturally resolved to act with the Great Spirit in everything you do. As you improve, or as you decondition, the Holy Spirit (God) in you becomes clearer and clearer and stronger and stronger to you as You. Remember WORDS ARE TRAPS.

We are in the non-language zone here. We have transcended the intellect where we use words to reason and understand. We are getting into the zone where we realize “the peace that passes all understanding”. The intellect can be fooled. Intuition just knows. Intuition is of the higher mind where “I” recognize that the Holy Spirit is trying to “take me over”” or merge with my ego.

“I and my Father are one.” John 10:30. Jesus is our example for our egos to merge with the Holy Spirit inside us so we become One inside ourselves. When you become One inside yourself (whole), you are granted the soulsight that sees and knows the condition of separation between ego and Holy Spirit in others. When you become enlightened you realize that you are not separate from others. You realize that you are energy and that your energy affects others and the energy of others affects you. You become conscious of yourself among others. You come to recognize how the Oversoul recovery is coming along with others. You exist in the Universal Self. You exist in the SuperSelf.

My upcoming book is about achieving the “peace that passes all understanding.” When the clarity of our Universal SuperSelf/Image and Likeness of God/ Holy Spirit becomes clear to you you become greatly relieved to finally see and know that we share the same Self. You recognize that this same Self is at different degrees of realization in each of us. Here is where you realize that everyone is your twin or soulmate. Life is about coming home to yourself which is ourselves. We slowly transfigure from ego to Holy Spirit or the same Self. But the realization can come on in a flash as it did with me in ecstasy and bliss. What remains forever is the relief that comes with the peace that passes all understanding because in the peace you realize what is going on with everyone. This is Self-Realization.

“Oh! It’s too bad that you got stuck with yourself, ha?”

The above is a quote from a former friend of mine who died at the age of fifty-seven. This male, I will call him Jandy, was a person who was short and bald with acne. So Jandy did not have one somewhat less than “perfect” physical feature to come to terms with, he had three. Jandy died of COPD or Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease. Emphysema and chronic bronchitis are the most common conditions that make up COPD. In her groundbreaking book, YOU CAN HEAL YOUR LIFE, Louise Hay mentions that people with emphysema may have, “Fear of taking in life. Not worthy of living.”(163).

Jandy, like the rest of us, was struggling to realize himself/ourself within his given physical vehicle. Not realizing it, Jandie was struggling to realize the Universal Self that we all share. The Self is the same in everyone. The same Self that we share makes a survival adjustment to the given body of the person. We adjust or do not adjust to our bodies. Put simply, Jandy was struggling to become conscious or awakened to our interpersonal or psychological reality or the soul sight between Us. The Universal Self or Holy Spirit is in you as this same Self that we share and will activate more in you as you break through illusions. This is called God Consciousness by people. It is reasonable to assume that “God” is in everything. It is easy to intuit that “God” is in everything. My upcoming book directs you to awareness.

The Holy Spirit/Universal Self-Mind-Consciousness is in you. It tries to break through in you all of the time. The Holy Spirit resides in you and is behind your ego/personality so to speak. This is the same for everyone. You do not let higher Spirit breakthrough in you enough! Breaking through illusions is necessary. Sometimes where we stop in thought is where we should keep going!

Jandy suffered greatly from having to accept himself. It helps to understand what your “ego is” along with knowing about “psychological conditioning.” Everybody is going through it. It is Universal. The more illusions that you break through the happier you will be. You have to find the final point of surrender. True humility is born with a devout surrender to everything. Self-acceptance is the ground floor of humility. “I accept myself within everything” and so may higher thoughts and feelings come through me helping everything.” I turned over my ego power. When you make this devout-true-surrender you are stepping out of the ego of “self” to our SuperSelf or Universal Self. Self-acceptance grants you the ability to look others in the eye and say “I’m me!”.

We all go through the struggle of self-acceptance. You know you are there when you stop pretending. There are a lot of people like Jandy out there. Jandy was making the statement that we are all stuck with ourselves. Knowing that self-acceptance is going on with everyone you meet makes you more sensitive to everyone. Knowing that self-acceptance is going on with everyone makes you care more for others through empathy. Realize that others are struggling. This is not just “your secret struggle party” this is “our struggle party.” I am writing about being conscious of being nice to others. I am talking about the virtue of Charity. The virtue of Charity leads to our Universal Self.

YOU CAN HEAL YOUR LIFE, Louise L. Hay, (163), 1987.