“God is love and he/she who abides in love abides in God and God in him/her.” This was the main fundamental that the Sisters of St. Agnes taught us when I was a kid attending Catholic school. This saying remained in my head no matter what crazy things I did. In the short video, LOVE LIBERATES, by Dr. Maya Angelou, she tells how her mother would always welcome Angelou and her daughter back home if they needed a place to stay. She tells that the loving support that her mother gave her “freed her.” She knew that she had someone who she could count on to give her shelter from the storms of the world. This unconditional love that she received from her mother gave her time to rest and collect herself. The respite time that her mother repeatedly gave her eventually freed her from the bonds of the world as most people know it. I too received unconditional love from my family and it freed me.

My grandparents truly loved me and I felt it. My grandparents left me an inheritance that I could receive when I was twenty-eight years old. I enrolled in college when I was twenty-seven because I knew that I would be receiving it. I went to college on and off for thirteen years. During this time I became nonattached to the everyday world. I wanted to be a professional comedian. I was financially free because I was self-supporting. I am still self-supporting. I did not have conflicting desires with my love of comedy. I was one pointed. I put my whole heart into what I was doing. I loved what I was doing. Three years into what I considered a spiritual adventure I achieved nirvikalpa samadhi. Nirvikalpa samadhi is the highest state of samadhi in which the aspirant realizes his total oneness with Brahman or God. This is the spiritual goal of all traditions where one permanently enters Universal Consciousness or the Universal Mind. When a person reaches this state, the person knows that she is liberated from this world and that they will be going to heaven so to speak. This state qualifies a person as a teacher. This liberation is what I meant when I said that my family freed me.

My parents always gave me respites when I needed them and my inheritance from my grandparents eventually filled out my freedom. I cannot stress more that you have to become nonattached from the everyday world for a long time to even possibly achieve this high samadhi by the grace of God. This is what makes it so rare because most people will not stay nonattached from the everyday world for four years like I did. Most spiritual aspirants have conflicting desires and egoistic fantasies when nonattachment is attempted. Nirvikalpa samadhi is an extremely-extremely rare condition of awareness. It took me years to realize that I had this rare condition because I was living in the everyday world. I thought that many spiritual teachers and writers had this condition like me. I was wrong.

I was a fish out of water. I became able to see through the egos of others. I later found out that this ability is called cardionosis which mystical theology refers to as the ability to read hearts. I also gained other sensitive abilities that might be termed as psychic but really are not. People project opinions onto me about how I should be and how I should behave when they have no idea about the condition (nirvikalpa samadhi). I have suffered abuse because of a lack of understanding of nirvikalpa samadhi. I pray for the abusers. It is no secret that sages teach with emotion. What has been called a “ripe ego” stems from a pure heart. A little ego is needed to function. God or the Divine Indwelling speaks from a pure heart. Nirvikalpa samadhi is the condition of an advanced spiritual teacher. Historically the sages who have had the condition have lived apart from the general public because of the sensitivity of the condition. The capacity for understanding the human condition is broadened and deepened in this condition. The condition never stops teaching and maturing the recipient. I will have to see how affairs turn out. I may start a small school in the future for qualified spiritual aspirants who want to get the most out of their life. The state is transmitted best in person but the aspirant has to make the truest/purest surrender or otherwise it is a fantasy. One has to give up everyday desires for a long time.

I have mentioned in this blog that Dr. David R. Hawkins made my life understandable to me because I could tell that he had received from the universe a state similar to mine. I never understood it through saints from the traditions, and that includes swamis and gurus, like I did from Hawkins. It is interesting that Hawkins does not speak and write about cardionosis. If he had it he may have not wanted people to know. I do not agree with Dr. Hawkins about everything. Hawkins mentions many abilities that he gained after his enlightenment however.

The high state of nirvikalpa samadhi totally sets one free on this physical plane and one does not have the worries of the average person. One does not have the worries because one knows that one has made it. The unconditional love that my family had for me was the spring board that set me free.

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